alaereth: kittyfae icon (Default)
My name is Alaereth Seriasin of Yyl'Nector.  I am what my host, [personal profile] jarandhel , calls a "kittyfae": a faerie who manifests as a winged, anthropomorphic feline.   This is not a specific breed of fae, instead it is a trait like hair color or eye color.  In this, my race varies in phenotype somewhat more than most.  My older sister, for instance, is of the more typical winged elfin appearance.

I have been hosted by Jarin since December 5, 1999, though in recent years we have had trouble communicating with one another.  We're still not sure what has caused this difficulty, or exactly how it has been resolved at this time, but for the moment at least I'm back.  And I will do my best to make sure I'm back to stay, whatever that may take.

I was first placed in Jarin's head by my father, who had contact with him previously.  At that time he was in proximity to a girl whom my father and I believed to be my sister, missing since an attack on our world by the vor'jen.  She was taken through a gate to safety by an ally, but didn't make it to the other side.  Time there does not pass the way time here does, and it has still been only a few short months on our world since the attack.  We had not given up on finding her, even between worlds.  My father had initially been channeled by others, but Jarin's proximity and latent gift for channeling made him an obvious choice for further contact.  And when he believed he had verified her identity sufficiently, he sent me to her.

After a happy reunion and some time spent together - 24/7, rather than the brief visits my father had previously managed - I came to doubt her identity.  While there were certain things I cannot deny that she knew, and I have at this time no explanation for how she came to know them, it soon became apparent that she was repeating to me the things I told her about our world rather than genuinely remembering it.  The most egregious incident of this was when I spent an hour telling her what I could remember of our world's history from my classes, and at the end she claimed to remember it too.  I asked her what she had remembered, and her reply was "exactly what you just told me"... no additions, no corrections, no deviation whatsoever.  That's not the way that memories of this life work, let alone recovered memories of other lives.  This, and a pattern of abusive behavior, eventually led both Jarin and myself to break off further contact with her.

In time, I found another who claimed to have memories of being my sister.  She was much more convincing, offering details that I had never shared with the first person and which she could not have made up.  But over time, she evinced a pattern of abusive behavior towards myself, Jarin, and others which was in many ways worse than that of the first person I believed to be my sister.  We broke off contact with her.  I can never be certain that she was not, in fact, my sister - but I choose to believe that my sister would never treat others in that manner.

Much more recently, a friend of Jarin's - a spirit-worker - claimed to have found her between the worlds.  I met with her, verified that it was her to the best of my ability, and took her home with me.  She claims to not remember anything that happened to her, and things have been very happy since she has been home, but I find our relationship somewhat strained.  While she is, so far, everything that I remember there remains a lingering sense of doubt that I cannot fully banish.  

I still have Jarin, though, and in time he has learned what I knew since shortly after he started hosting me: he and I are connected.  We have met before, and shared each other's lives and beds.  I only wish we could meet again in the flesh.

I guess that's a good start with introductions, for now.  In the future, I might tell more of myself, Yyl'Nector, or the other worlds I remember.  Frankly, I wish my old hivejournal entry was still around so I didn't have to.  But, this is me.  And I'm back.


alaereth: kittyfae icon (Default)
Alaereth Seriasin

June 2012

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